Dear Hudson

Dear Hudson,

Well.  It seems time has caught up to us, the way time does.  Tomorrow is the last day of school and next year you will be heading to Jr. High.  This is a good thing - I can see you are ready.  But  it's always strange for a mom to let a sweet chapter end.  I must admit that I'm going to miss this chapter.  I will miss seeing you walk your little brothers into school each day.  I'm going to miss driving by the school and waving to you and your posse out at recess.  I'm going to miss watching you race Owen and Jude to the car after school - those huge grins spread across your faces.  (I won't miss when you all fight about who won.)  I'm going to miss so many things about this stage of life - the stage when all four of my boys were little.  The years flew by.  Boy, did they fly.   

The last couple of months you've been acting a bit more "teenager-ish".  You think you are right.  A lot.  You roll your eyes at me.  A lot.  You boss your brothers around.  A lot.  You choose to be with your friends instead of us.  A lot.

From what I hear, this is only the beginning and there will be some rough years ahead.  But it's ok because,  buddy you are still just the coolest kid I could imagine.  I thought I'd write you a little letter (before the rough years really settle in) telling you just how much I like you.

Huds, I really, really like the person you are.  I catch myself watching you in wonder sometimes because you have so many qualities I admire.

You are fun.  You are funny.  You wake up early - ALWAYS happy to start your day, ready to make us laugh.  You are even happy waking up at 5:40 am for basketball practices - I don't know how you can be so happy at that time of day! But I'm super grateful anyway.  You are silly.  I see so many kids around you who are so worried about looking cool that they don't let themselves just relax and enjoy life.  You enjoy your life and this fun energy is contagious.  

I love that you attempted learning to play the cello this year - even though it didn't go too well!  I really like that you wanted to try even if it didn't look like the cool thing to do.  I can guarantee there is some little boy who watched you play with the orchestra who now thinks that playing an instrument is something worth trying.  I loved going to those concerts and seeing you pulling goofy faces while you played because you knew I was capturing it on video and you wanted to spice it up.

You are a great friend.  You have so many friends - and your friends have so many friends because you have brought them all together. I remember when you were in 3rd grade and you told me you were going to sit by London at lunch that day and make him be your friend.  Who would have guessed you'd become such great friends and he'd become great friends with all your other friends?  When Quincy moved in you took him under your wing and he immediately had ten boys to hang out with every recess.  You are happy being with your school friends, ward friends, tennis friends....whoever!  You're just happy anytime you get to spend time with your guys.

I have been so impressed watching you with your friends and teammates because you are so supportive of them.  I know that it can't always be easy watching some of the success and attention your friends receive.  Not everyone could be best friends with kids who are athletic freaks and superstars!  But I notice you being the first to cheer and give them a high five as you run down that court.  I see you smiling, laughing and congratulating them in the huddle when they make that touchdown pass.  You have never once complained or tried to down play their talents.  You seem to enjoy just being a part of it all.  

One of the things I love most about you is your ability to relate to and be kind to all different types of people.  I've seen you make some great interceptions and that is exciting and makes me happy - but not nearly as happy as I feel watching you help the underdog.  Seeing you put your arm around that lonely kid or pushing a wheelchair through the snow day after day - now that makes a mom's heart feel like it may just burst right open.  I have heard stories about you, you know - I know that you gave your sandwich to that kid who didn't have a lunch.  I know you pass the ball to that boy who never gets the ball.  I know you let your brother hang out with you and your friends at recess when it's been a bad week for him.   You have a good heart and you watch out for people.  I know who you are Hudson.  I love who you are.

I love that you know your teachers and leaders are sacrificing for you and you appreciate it.    I love that you always tell Dad and me how much you love us - that you love to talk to us and lay in bed reading by Dad.  I love when you ask me to hang out with you.  I love when you randomly grab my hand.  I love the way you treat your grandparents.

I love that you are smart.  I love that you are most sad to leave the librarian at the school because you guys have bonded over your love of books.  I love that she would ask you which books to order for the school and that the library is full of some great Hudson Boxx recommendations.  I love that you study and you know school matters.

I love that you are a spiritual person and you know that life is about something much bigger than video games, friends and sports.  You have always wanted to learn about the gospel, heaven, the scriptures.  It drives me a little crazy that you know the scripture stories better than I do,  but you are a sponge and soak it all in.  I love that you make sure you pass the sacrament to our row each Sunday and that you smile at me as you hand us the tray. 

Do you think I can talk about the big brother you are without crying?  Probably not because there is no way to express how much your role as big brother means to me.  I seriously lucked out that you are my oldest.  You are their leader, example, protector, and best best friend.  Oh your brothers look up to you so much. Thank you for putting your arm around Owen when he was sitting next to you last week.  Thank you for reading to Jude yesterday.  Thank you for spinning Quinn around and calling him your best little little guy.  Thank you for sleeping on your brothers floor night after night because they want you to be in the room with them, listening to your beloved books on disc.  I know you are going to miss that little spot on the floor one day.  And I KNOW I'm going to miss knowing all my little boys are tucked into that one small bedroom together.  Right next door to my room....


I love that you like my cooking.

I love that you pretend like you don't like girls.

I love that you make jokes about going through puberty.

I love that you wear holes in your shoes because you are the boy who never stops moving.

I love that you have that huge scar across you chin and you think it's cool.

I love that you like to write and have a binder full of stories.

I love that you have perfected cooking grilled cheese sandwiches. 

As hard as it is to close these chapters,  I am completely enjoying watching you grow.  I am excited to watch you move into this next phase of life.  I know you are going to have a great time.  You are an amazing kid - and when the eye rolling gets really out of control I can always come back to this letter and remind myself why I still like you so much. 

All my love forever,
          Mom