Rock On

When I wrote the post "Ground Hogs and Bed Bugs" I woke up the next day feeling embarrassed that I put my sappy feelings out there for people to read. Awkward.

Now, looking back on all the posts I've written so far - that is my favorite. It's my favorite because someday my kids will read it and it will show them how much I treasured the years I had them in my home.
HOW VERY MUCH I LOVED THOSE YEARS.

So, even if I feel awkward doing it - I vow that from time to time I will write about my feelings. If you don't like to hear me be sentimental then by all means PLEASE don't read my blog. Good or bad I'm as sentimental as they come...




When Quinn was born I worked very hard getting him on a schedule and training him to fall asleep on his own. He was a stubborn one to train- that is for sure. But eventually he got the hang of it.

Then someone came along and un-trained him.

Snuggling him and rocking him to sleep.

Holding him and staring at him long after he was dreaming.

Taking him out of his crib and laying by him when he cried.



Who would dare do such a thing after all my effort?



That's right. The same person who trained him has successfully un-trained him (which, by the way, is much easier to do).



You see...I just couldn't help myself. I am having a much harder time letting go of this stage of my life than I expected I would.

When Quinn falls asleep I stare at him and try to memorize how it feels to hold my baby. I know there will always be babies to hold - but I want to remember how it feels to hold MY baby.

This stage of my life, although infinitely harder than I'd imagined, has been infinitely more meaningful and special than I'd imagined.


I'm afraid of letting go.




This week my sister will be saying goodbye to her oldest son for two years - and this fall her daughter will leave for college. I was talking to her about this last week. She told me that it's very bittersweet. Sweet because it makes her happy to see her kids grow and progress with their lives....bitter because she's letting go. Her family and her household will never be the same. I guarantee she's trying to memorize how it feels, what it looks like, what it sounds like...the beautiful chaos of it all.


My mom once told me that when you look back on your life you will never ever regret the hours you spent rocking your babies. My mom has never lied.


Rock on mothers...rock on.
One day we will have to let go.


I dedicate this post to my sister Sue because although her son is approximately 6'4 and 220 lbs he's still her little boy. I will be watching and learning from you.


PS. 1) I am not going to feel awkward about sharing this - other than the fact that when I see pictures of myself it's clear I should take the time to put on some make-up. 2) If you are going to tell me to just have four more babies...I've already thought of that and I'm pretty sure that's not the answer. He he.

A Dozen Derby's

My intent was to blog once a week - if that - BUT there is always so much fun going on around these parts!

Last night brought us to our third pinewood derby.

Remember how I feel about creating Valentine's Day boxes? Well I think that is probably just a sliver of how Brian feels about making these derby cars.

Our scout pack does a great job of making the evening about fun more than about winning... still, no dad wants his kid to have the super slow car. So there is some pressure.

To be honest, at Hudson's first derby there were a few tears - but that is just a family tradition because Brian had some tears at his first derby as well...remember Grandpa?

Last night was great!
Happy Hudson, happy Dad.


Here is Brian giving Hudson some last minute advice. Just kidding! At this point there is no skill involved - put it on the track and cross your fingers.


Hudson and Quincy


Hudson and London (who is really good at making weird faces - he actually is a very cute boy!)


Hudson and Jace


I got a couple fun shots of Reno for Matt and Mary.
(If you happen to look - this is right after YOUR BOY got first place! Woot woot!)

Hudson has a bunch of other great friends in this big group of kids...I love where we live. We have terrific families helping us raise our boys. I'm not too proud to admit how much that helps.


Owen isn't quite a scout yet but I was really touched by the way he supported his BFF Baden in his first ever derby! They both look so nervous! (See Baden's dad Jeremy in the background with his arms folded? I bet he was nervous too!)


They cheered, "YES!" when the car passed the finish line...which means Jeremy did a great job!



I dedicate this post to Brian, of course! Three cars down...nine more to go.

Struttin' like crazy

Remember how Owen finally participated in crazy hair day? Well, considering how shy Jude is you can bet he has NEVER wanted to participate either. Last year he was the ONLY kid in his class to go to school with regular, nicely combed hair on crazy hair day. I'm pretty sure he thought all the other kids were crazy for doing such a thing.

Last week I saw a note from school saying that the hair day was approaching, but I didn't ask him if he wanted to go CRAZY. I was sure he wouldn't and that was fine. At least he is finally going to school without crying. Yea!

But... when that day came he got dressed and then told me we needed to get his hair ready, "In a crazy way." What?!

AND he wanted it to be just like Owens' was on crazy hair day. Half red, half blue.

AND he wanted me to put a picture of his hair on the computer just like I did with his brothers' crazy hair picture...so here it is!



He didn't like having the paint sprayed on. "Mom, that really freaked me out." He thought it felt like the spray they use to remove warts - yes, he's familiar with that.

But boy oh boy did he love the final product! He was strutting around with even more attitude than usual. Isn't it strange that my shyest child is also my only one who has a strut?

He had tons of fun at school that day. Except - "Mom, Jacobs' hair was so crazy - it totally freaked me out and I didn't want to sit by him on the rug." (Jacobs' mom - my friend - must be really good at creating crazy hair!)

Can you tell Jude frequently says "freaked me out"? I think it's cute.



I dedicate this post to my older boys because I tell them A LOT that their little brothers watch everything they do. This is sometimes said in a positive way and sometimes said in a threatening way...but it's true either way! Watch your step boys!

Handy-downs

We don't have much drama about clothes at our house. I guess this is one good thing about not having girls. The boys grab a shirt and jeans and off they go....without any thought at all.

It's really nice - although lately Jude seems to have an opinion about what is cool and what isn't. His vision of cool looks a bit K FED to me - or maybe a little ICE ICE BABY. Oh well, whatever his style is he works it with his little strut.

Anyway, the only clothing drama we have is because we have boy clothes coming OUT OUR EARS! One day Hudson was talking about how lucky his brothers are to be getting all of his "handy-downs". I told him he was right - except that they are called "hand-me-downs". What? Really? Yes. Really.

His version made great sense though, right?
So handy.

Occasionally we get all these little clothes (that pretty much look the same) mixed up. A few years ago I sent Hudson to school in Owens' cargo pants. I watched him walk into school and thought, "Wow! He's sure grown. Those pants are way too short." It wasn't until that night, when Brian asked me why Hudson had on Owens' pants, that I realized what had happened.

A few weeks ago I put the wrong jeans in Hudson's drawer again. He came into the kitchen all ready for school with his pants six inches too short and his white socks totally exposed. He's so skinny those size seven pants slid right on and he didn't feel a bit uncomfortable. I laughed and laughed and laughed - until he was annoyed that I was still laughing.



On Sunday I asked Owen to go change out of his church clothes. Well, when Owen gets dressed he is usually talking to himself about something, off in his own little wonderful world - not at all focused on what he's putting on. He and Jude share a dresser and a closet, so sometimes he puts on the wrong things...this time he came out of his room looking like this!
(I especially love the black socks)

"Mom, do these still fit me?" (Cue mom laughing and laughing and laughing)

"No Owen. Sadly - they do not."

But I've got bags and bags of "handy-downs" that will fit you!



I dedicate this post to my niece Angie. We thought she was having a boy and would take all these clothes for her little guy...but alas she's having a girl! We can't wait! (My brother has all girls and now his first grand baby is a girl - funny huh?) Oh my gosh. We've been teasing my brother and his wife about becoming grandparents...but just this second I realized I am going to be a great aunt.
I AM OLD.

This Valentine's Day was all about THE CRUSH!

I know that Valentine's Day is really meant to be a holiday for couples - but Brian and I are VERY guilty of making everything about the kids.

Hmmmm (me thinking).

This attitude is either going to result in our children becoming adults who feel happy, secure, and comfortable giving and receiving love - OR - it will result in them becoming adults with overactive egos, who believe that life is all about them and are always expecting to be showered with love and attention. Oh my...please, please let it be the first one.

A few weeks ago I picked up some little items to give the boys for Valentine's Day. I thought I found just the right things...but a few days later Brian came up with a surprise that would really excite! Nothing electronic, nothing grand...

Just a few cases of PINEAPPLE CRUSH SODA!

Last summer, while at the beach, we ended an especially fun day in the sand with a little stop at a taco joint right off the ocean. We'd been to this spot other years but never thought to try the Pineapple Crush soda. Brian suggested we give it a try. The boys went crazy over it!

When we got back to town we went to try and buy some at the market...Pineapple Crush was nowhere to be found. We researched a bit and found out it is sold in select stores, in select markets....not our cold weather market.

The boys have been talking about it ever since.





Well, Brian took a one day trip to California last week and called me from there...

"Guess what I just got the kids?!"

"Ummm, I don't know. What?"

"Pineapple Crush...I shipped three cases home! I thought we could give it to them on Valentine's Day."


I'm laughing, knowing how excited the boys will be - and at the same time wondering how much that cost!? That is some expensive soda!





As you can tell it was worth every penny.



After all of the Valentine's Day excitement was over, we were too hungry to wait for the dinner I'd planned to make. We jumped in the car and went for pulled turkey sliders instead. On the way out of the restaurant we put two quarters into the giant fortune teller machine.

We all leaned in close to hear these words, "Dream as though you'll live forever. Live as though you'll die today." Ooooooo - how wise that mechanical man is! I'd say $60 soda falls in line.

On the way home I heard the boys talking about how this was one of the best days ever.

I have to agree.

(*Even though Valentine's is more for the kids than for Brian and I - I HAVE to thank my nephews who babysat for us the weekend before! I still can't believe you called and ASKED us if you could...you are the best!*)



I dedicate this post to all four B boys...if one day, in your teenage angst, you feel like your Dad is lame or even cruel - I hope you will read this and know HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU!

A 9 (yes nine) picture story....LOVE IS WORTH THE WORK.

February is not my favorite month for too many reasons. I'm not grumpy...I actually have some decent, valid reasons.

I also have one that is not decent or valid...

You see, I am NOT crafty and the whole create a Valentine's Day box for school thing doesn't thrill me. I know, I know...I heard you gasp. "What kind of mother is she?!" You're right - verdict is still out on that one.

But every year when February comes I have to FACE THE BOX.

You better believe I was so happy when Judes' teacher sent a note home saying that they would prepare their boxes in class...I love that lady!

Owens' note simply said to bring a Valentine box of any kind...so I may or may not have run to Walmart and purchased a $4 red mailbox in which the only assembly/decorating involved was to apply stickers.

HE LOVED IT - so there!

Just when I thought I was getting off easy...Hudsons' teacher (who I loved a TON until now) sent home a note informing parents that not only did the boxes need to be made at home...but there would also be a contest to see who's box was the most creative, unique, etc.

Oh that's wonderful.

By the way...my Valentine box nightmares first began while trying to help Hudson make one in Kindergarten. It was my first go-round since I was a kid. I thought it would be fun! Not so...there were a lot of tears. He didn't like how it looked when he did the decorating. He liked it even less when I tried to help. It didn't match the "vision" he had, it wasn't cool, the colors were too girly...

Poor kid is creative beyond his lame mothers' skills. Disappointment all around. Luckily he's grown up a lot - and this time around shouldn't be THAT bad. We will be working on his box tonight. I will put on a smile...and he will be convinced that I think the whole thing is fun and magical. I will pretend because I KNOW that love is worth the work.

So worth the work.



BUT WAIT! What is great about February is receiving Valentine's Day cards from two sets of Grandparents in the same week! I never tire of seeing my kids' faces when they get mail of their own! Love it - and love the senders.

This sweet gesture put me in a more festive mood and I decided to get some hearts to stick on our front window. It was a little harder for Quinn to do than I expected. Oh great...he probably has my lack of crafting skills. What's that? Sticking pre-made hearts on a window isn't crafting?

When I saw these pictures I thought to myself...THIS IS A LOVE STORY.


"This is fun!"


"Wait, this isn't working right."


"I'm no good at this...my stinkin' heart won't stay up."


"Don't worry Quinn! Brother's here...never fear! I will teach you everything I know."


"You just have to use two hands! Voila!"


"Oh I see! You're so smart Jude."


"Stretching up, up, up with my two little hands!"


"I did it!" And so he begins to learn that love is worth the work!

I think February is looking better and better.
Awe shucks...what's not to love?

PS. I can't wait for the 14th! Brian got the boys a little surprise that they are going to go CRAZY over!



I dedicate this post to loving Grandparents...whose thoughtfulness can turn a whole month around. This is our Valentine to you!

What it's REALLY like...chicks dig scars.

The truth of the matter is that with a family full of boys there are bound to be some accidents. In this post I'm not only telling you what it's REALLY like...I'm showing you. If you are squeamish I recommend that you don't scroll down through all the pictures. He he he.


I am not a thrill seeker. I don't like fast speeds. I don't like heights.
Adrenaline does nothing for me.
In my book "safety first" is a great motto.

So OF COURSE I was given four adventurous little boys and a husband whose motto is "chicks dig scars" - just great. Help me now.

I learned quickly that I have an interesting situation here. Should I just fold and decide that my lot in life is to sit at home knitting while my little family experiences life without me? No. I may be cautious but I'm not boring (well, maybe a little boring). So I tag along on the adventures and I participate in all the fun.

Since I'm being honest here - I don't just tag along because it's fun. I also tag along because I somehow feel that if I am present I can keep anything too crazy from happening. The big boy and his little side kicks always want me to come so I must not be too annoying.

However, being in baby mode these days means that I often need to stay home. I don't mind...baby mode is my favorite mode after all. The bad part is that when I'm left behind I tend to worry about my boys a lot more than when I'm there. I am married to a giant tease and Brian loves to feed into this worrying. If I text while they are gone - just to see how everything is going - I will almost always receive this message back, "We are at the hospital."

Very funny.

Yes, very funny.... until one day I get a call from Brian telling me Hudson got hurt and they are headed to the hospital.

"Ha ha. How's it really going?"

"Sher, I'm not kidding! We are headed to the hospital. Hudson's hurt and bleeding like crazy."


I'll spare you the whole story because it's actually not that exciting...other than the fact that Hudson had to be rushed (at serious speeds) out of the mountains on one of these. Cool.


And... he had to have his stitches (a lot of them) done at a little mountain town hospital instead of waiting for a plastic surgeon. But Hudson wasn't worried about his chin looking pretty because his Dad had taught him early that "chicks dig scars." Watch out girls! It's a good one!

Poor Hudson... but also poor Brian. As much as he jokes around with me, he is very careful with his boys and this little accident broke his heart.

However, the adventures were only slowed down temporarily...and Hudson broke his nose 3 days later.

And that is what it's REALLY like.


(missing baby Q in this pic)


I dedicate this post to Brian...who amazes me every day with the way he is able to love and nurture his little boys while at the same time making sure they turn out brave and strong. Our life wouldn't be nearly as fun without him!

Not so sure about all this...

I know this is going to be a boring post...not even a picture...

I resisted starting a blog for a long time. I thought it would be much too time consuming and also a distraction that I didn't need. I couldn't find the time to read blogs much less have one of my own.

Then when I was pregnant and sick with Quinn I started looking at blogs while Jude watched Go Diego Go next to me on the bed...after seeing every episode two times each I needed a distraction. I started blog hopping around. I stumbled upon a few people I haven't seen in years..."Oh, that's nice. They look good." But this blogging world was only fun for about a week and a half and then I was bored and started watching Diego again.

That was until, six months after I had my baby, I received an iphone for Mothers Day. I did NOT have the time or desire to sit at the computer and read blogs...but I did have the time and did have the desire to read while I sat in the school parking lot waiting for my kids or when I was waiting and waiting at the doctors office. This is how I discovered a handful of blogs that I began to really enjoy. A couple are family/friends and others are strangers I found I relate to and feel inspired by. I loved the records they were keeping of their families - I wished my boys had something like it...maybe a blog IS something worthwhile?

Fast forward to now.
I Finally start a blog of my own.
Discovered it's not time consuming at all - in fact it's fast and simple.
Discovered it IS however a bit of a distraction for me.

I also discovered that I have a different set of concerns about blogging. When I realized that more people were reading my stories than the seven people I told about my blog I began to feel...well, I'm unsure about how I feel. Happy? Weird? Do I want my personal life to just be mine or is it fun to share the fun?

Last week I felt like I didn't want to be in this cyber world.

This week? Well, I think I'll keep at it - for now.

I wish you'd tell me what YOUR blogging experience has been. Positive? Distracting? Fun? Exposing? I know you won't really comment...but just thought I'd ask.

I dedicate this post to the people out there who blog and share and inspire - when you're being honest and real it does take some courage.

Ground hogs and bed bugs

I have to admit I give myself a little pep talk before I get out of bed in the morning.

There are a lot of important people, especially little people, who need me to be happy, positive, energetic and available to them. I need the pep talk because on occasion I long for night to come before I've even lifted the covers. Don't judge.

Then I see their faces and I smile. I try to do something silly - because I like them to laugh when they start their day. The business of the morning takes over and my thoughts of crawling back in bed have no room to exist. It's on with the day. Hopefully a good one.

I will accomplish a lot or a little...depending on how you look at it. I will do the same things I must do everyday - over and over and over. I will try to remind myself how much these things really do matter. Sometimes I'm convinced. Sometimes I'm not.

I will eventually come to the end of the day tired and now deserving of sleep. But first I must head to tell the boys goodnight. Some nights I get to stay, snuggle, and talk. Other nights I need to be quicker so I can get Quinn to bed.



One thing is always the same...this little conversation MUST happen before anyone can go to sleep. When closing the door to Owen and Judes' room I will hear this:

Owen: Good night Mom! Don't let the bed bugs bite!

Me: OOOUCHHH! Oh, that got me! (in as dramatic a voice as I can muster)

Owen: I love you!

Me: Well, I love you more!

Pause

Jude: Goodnight Mom! Don't let the bed bugs bite!

Me: OOOUUUWWEE! That was a big one and it got me too! (in a voice equally, but not more, dramatic)

Jude: I love you!

Me: Well, I love you more!

And so it goes every night. It's their routine and they do it over and over and over and it matters a lot - to them and to me. IT MATTERS.

I then head off to tell Hudson good night (where a whole different routine begins - equally as cute - but I don't think he wants me ruining his macho image) and that's when I hear them start up again. "Good night Dad! Don't let the bed bugs bite!"

I think to myself that all too quickly these little bodies will be too big for these little beds - I try to soak it in.

It is freezing outside and I haven't heard if the ground hog saw his shadow - but it doesn't really matter because these boys make this house feel as warm as spring. Perhaps I will eagerly jump out of bed tomorrow.



I dedicate this post to my Dad (the snowbird) because when my boys grow up and leave - I too may feel that winter is too cold to bear. Miss you.