Rock On

When I wrote the post "Ground Hogs and Bed Bugs" I woke up the next day feeling embarrassed that I put my sappy feelings out there for people to read. Awkward.

Now, looking back on all the posts I've written so far - that is my favorite. It's my favorite because someday my kids will read it and it will show them how much I treasured the years I had them in my home.
HOW VERY MUCH I LOVED THOSE YEARS.

So, even if I feel awkward doing it - I vow that from time to time I will write about my feelings. If you don't like to hear me be sentimental then by all means PLEASE don't read my blog. Good or bad I'm as sentimental as they come...




When Quinn was born I worked very hard getting him on a schedule and training him to fall asleep on his own. He was a stubborn one to train- that is for sure. But eventually he got the hang of it.

Then someone came along and un-trained him.

Snuggling him and rocking him to sleep.

Holding him and staring at him long after he was dreaming.

Taking him out of his crib and laying by him when he cried.



Who would dare do such a thing after all my effort?



That's right. The same person who trained him has successfully un-trained him (which, by the way, is much easier to do).



You see...I just couldn't help myself. I am having a much harder time letting go of this stage of my life than I expected I would.

When Quinn falls asleep I stare at him and try to memorize how it feels to hold my baby. I know there will always be babies to hold - but I want to remember how it feels to hold MY baby.

This stage of my life, although infinitely harder than I'd imagined, has been infinitely more meaningful and special than I'd imagined.


I'm afraid of letting go.




This week my sister will be saying goodbye to her oldest son for two years - and this fall her daughter will leave for college. I was talking to her about this last week. She told me that it's very bittersweet. Sweet because it makes her happy to see her kids grow and progress with their lives....bitter because she's letting go. Her family and her household will never be the same. I guarantee she's trying to memorize how it feels, what it looks like, what it sounds like...the beautiful chaos of it all.


My mom once told me that when you look back on your life you will never ever regret the hours you spent rocking your babies. My mom has never lied.


Rock on mothers...rock on.
One day we will have to let go.


I dedicate this post to my sister Sue because although her son is approximately 6'4 and 220 lbs he's still her little boy. I will be watching and learning from you.


PS. 1) I am not going to feel awkward about sharing this - other than the fact that when I see pictures of myself it's clear I should take the time to put on some make-up. 2) If you are going to tell me to just have four more babies...I've already thought of that and I'm pretty sure that's not the answer. He he.