On the first day of this new year we sat down as a family and set some goals. I've been feeling like we need a fresh start and this is the perfect time.
I have started to wonder if I am navigating my family through the ups and downs of life without ever really instilling a true sense of character in my boys. I tend to have tunnel vision at times - trying to get through each day with efficiency (and a big dose of nurturing)...but not giving enough effort towards truly helping my boys grow, or building those sweet,strong souls. Not enough time spent preparing them for their future - possibly pretending that they will stay little and in my care forever. And what about my soul? What about my character? Surely they need a better example than what I'm giving them.
We talked for a long time that January night. We talked about being grateful, about just how fortunate we truly are. We discussed that we shouldn't waste the opportunities we've been given. We talked about being hard workers, about giving service, about learning how to do things...from cleaning a toilet to tying knots, from pumping the gas to patching a bike tire, from cooking an omelet to mowing the lawn. Hudson would want it to be known that he already knows how to mow - both the push and the riding kind. :) We talked about becoming someone people know they can count on...someone both competent and willing to work with a positive ATTITUDE. I really, really want my kids to have positive attitudes.
(Hudson and my dad last summer driving the Thing to the cabin. Grandpa taught him to drive the John Deer. Spend anytime at all with my dad and he'll teach you how to work. Then he'll spoil you with a big basket of fresh cut french fries or a thick creamy milk shake.)
We didn't just talk about doing things but also knowing things. Learning to study and be interested in the world - not just sports or video games. Knowing that education is vitally important, as is doing your best. We talked about how the more you learn the more confident you become. About the importance of trying/learning new things...possibly even an instrument?! Oh, I would love that.
We discussed being respectful. About how important it is to be able to relate with adults. About being kind to people with all different personalities...without judging.
We talked a lot about building our faith and that trying to become who God wants us to become takes work and determination...especially these days.
And of course we talked about family. That family is the joy of life. About being supporters of each other - ALWAYS, ALWAYS.
Responsibility, discipline, loyalty - there is just so much to teach and be taught, isn't there?
I know this sounds like a lot - too much to discuss in one night. Too much for little kids to understand. But, maybe that is where I've been wrong. Maybe I'm making things too easy on all of us...underestimating our potential. The boys listened, they talked and they actually seemed to agree. I believe they may have even caught a glimpse of the family we could be...of the men they could grow into...if we try to be more and do more. Their reaction encourages me to talk through these years. Talk and talk.
The things I listed sound so obvious don't they? Things that should, of course, be a part of family life - but this just isn't always the case. Times are busy - and when times aren't busy we are lazy. When we were thinking of goals Brian and I couldn't help but compare our generation to the generation before us and the generation before that. Those were (are) some good people - bursting with character.
Hard work, service, respect, kindness, competence, faith. Yes, I definitely need to slow down and take some time to build character - character all around.
I don't know if any of this makes sense. I'm definitely rambling. And, I realize I didn't mention what specific goals we finally settled on...but I'm grateful for a fresh start. I want to be better. I sometimes behave like this life is my dress rehearsal. But, I only get one chance. One chance to raise my children. One chance at this little life of mine. One chance to be and do what I was sent here for.
After setting goals we decided to bundle up and go for a winter walk before bed. You know, be tough, battle the elements, BUILD CHARACTER. :) It was awesome and ended up full of mischief and laughter, because although we need to buckle down and get a bit more serious....there will always be plenty of fun at our house. Plenty of time to just be a kid.
I dedicate this post to 2011. I appreciate so very much all you gave to us...I hope in 2012 we will do better at giving back.
No comments:
Post a Comment